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Sitting in my attic nook, watching fall leaves drift onto the driveway, I wrote my list of dealbreakers.

All the things I'd overlooked in my 2 marriages.

Controlling behaviors. Blaming. Emotional absence. Broken promises.

I felt ashamed about what I'd accepted as normal. Sad about the years I'd wasted thinking people would change. And terrified I'd do it again.

So when my partner and I started dating, I kept that list close. My safety harness. I promised myself: one dealbreaker, and I'd walk away.

Four months into dating, I hit a dealbreaker. My partner ordered a custom skydiving suit. I measured him carefully—twice—using the 44-point form.

When it arrived too small, he immediately blamed my measurements.

Blaming. Right there on my list.

Without a word, I walked out, got in my car, and drove around for an hour.

Hurt. Heartbroken. But clear.

Because I had to end our relationship.

When I came back, he met me at the door:

"I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault. I should never have said it was."

I stayed, but it took me two months to fully trust him again. I was watchful. Wary of a repeat.

But not afraid.

Because I'd proven something to myself: when it mattered, I wouldn't abandon me.

That's what the dealbreaker list really gave me. Not a way to vet someone else—a way to trust myself again.

Here's the truth, Reader: you can't build healthy relationships if you don't trust yourself first.

The dealbreaker list helped me do that. But it's just one piece.

On October 22, I'm hosting a free webinar where I'll share the complete framework I use—including how to rebuild self-trust, set boundaries, and recognize patterns before they repeat.

It's for anyone tired of second-guessing themselves in relationships. You can register here.

I'm doing this because I spent too many years thinking I was the problem.

I wasn't. I just needed better tools.

I hope you'll join me.

Sending you peace of mind, always,

Jenni

P.S. I know an hour feels like a lot when you're already busy. But if you're tired of second-guessing yourself in relationships, this webinar could save you years of heartache. That's worth an hour.